


the fault in our stars

by merthurxmalec



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, I think?, M/M, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and it got ripped out of his chest AGAIN, im sorry, someone let TONY STARK LIVE, soul stone angst, this is just a big Tony angst fest negl, this is... not nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 01:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16379078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurxmalec/pseuds/merthurxmalec
Summary: "He may have saved half the universe," Tony thought, "but he took all of mine."~The soul stone demands a sacrifice - Tony knows that.He just wasn't prepared for how big a sacrifice it would be.





	the fault in our stars

**Author's Note:**

> am I back with more infinity war angst? yes, yes I am. 
> 
> (it seems whenever I try writing something that is not something infinity war related, it somehow morphs itself into that anyway)
> 
> This has absolutely nothing to do with John Green's 'The Fault in Our Stars' no matter what the title suggests.

Tony Stark fucking hates space.

 

Now this hate is a fairly recent development. As a kid, Tony used to love space- loved it in the way all kids did, with a childish passion. Tony Stark is a scientist- he loves anything to do with science. Science to Tony is like air to humans, and you can’t choose what air to breathe. So naturally, Tony simply chose science- all of it.

 

Here is another thing: engineering is Tony’s baby. He can say with absolute certainty that even if Howard Stark’s A+ parenting had not pushed him into robotics, it is still where his heart would have taken him. Sure, Dad-of-the-year-Howard-Stark never asked Tony before deciding his major, but it was pretty much the only thing Howard had ever gotten right about his son.

 

Here is another thing: if engineering was Tony’s baby then once upon a time, in a land before evil/misunderstood trickster gods and aliens, Tony’s girlfriend was astrophysics.

 

Growing up, Tony’s bedroom was a mix between a Captain America shrine and the next NASA museum. On the nights when Howard would find extended company in his (several) bottles of bourbon and Maria Stark would be caught up in the brunt of it all, Tony would stare up at the glow in the dark stars Aunt Peggy had bought him for his birthday and allow the twinkles of light lure him into sleep as they chased the darkness away.

 

Scientifically, Tony knew that stars are nothing more than remaining debris of ice and rock. The logical part of him knew that it wasn’t anything special, just a reflection of the sun’s rays like everything is. But Tony didn’t care – it was the only solace he had on lonely nights. With a Captain America plushie in his hands, hugged tightly to his chest, and stars in his eyes, Tony felt that he could take over the world.

 

Age seventeen, returning from his parent’s funeral carrying a legacy he didn’t even want, Tony had gone into his childhood room and trashed the place, broke every Cap action figure he possessed, tore every pillow to shreds until all that was remaining was a mass of blue feathery cotton. He cried in rage, then with grief, cried until he finally fell asleep with a familiar numbness settled deep into his bones. When he had opened his eyes in the middle of the night, the glow in the dark stars were still there, still guiding a lonely, drowning boy to shore.

 

But then New York happened, and Tony had carried a nuke into space with the full objective of flying to his death. He thought he would find comfort in his surroundings, in the bright stars that stretched out before him. A death surrounded by stars felt oddly poetic to him – it had been stars that had provided him with life for so long. Made sense it is amongst them that he breathes his last breath.

 

But he didn’t die. His body fell through a closing wormhole, lay down on the ruined streets of New York, celebrating a victory with a tentative family. But his body was all that had fallen, because now stars – an object of awe – became the subject of his recurring nightmares. It stopped being a beacon of hope and suddenly became something bigger, something fearful. It became the place Tony closed his eyes for the last time, surrounded by darkness, alone. It became the place in which his kid – his son – had breathed his last words to him, begging and trusting a broken man to save him. It became the place where his kid turned to ash in his arms.

 

As Tony descended the Guardian’s ship, Steve tailing closely behind, he felt crippling fear.

 

Vormir.

 

Sacrifice.

 

_It is the only way,_ Strange had said to him – Tony gets why, now. The soul stone demands a sacrifice, he knows that. Nebula had taken him and Steve aside to tell them, prepare them for an inevitable end. The universe always needed Tony to make sacrifices, and this time was no different.

 

_“It has to be me,” Steve had said, before Nebula had even finished her sentence._

_“No,” Tony had said. “It has to be me, it always has to be me.”_

_“Tony,” Steve had said, his face nearing close. “Tony.”_

_Then it was hands and limbs and whispered confessions, but not much talking._

“Tony,” Steve said now, his eyes set on a darkened figure approaching them.

 

“Tony Stark. Steve Rogers. Vormir welcomes you.”

 

“You know us?” Tony asked, his body protectively blocking a visibly shaken Steve.

 

“You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge, Stark,” the figure said. It turned its red head to Steve, smiling a gumless smile. “Captain.”

 

“Red Skull,” Steve said, his voice hard. “Should have known you won’t go that easily.”

 

“Alas, you shackled me to a fate worse than death. It is okay, Captain. It is your turn now.”

 

“The stone demands a sacrifice,” the monster continued, “a sacrifice, of someone you love.”

 

Steve was already pushing past Tony, his strength trying to gently shake off Tony where he had grasped onto Steve’s elbow.

 

“Do you love me, Tony?” Steve whispered, his gloveless hands gently ghosting over Tony’s cheekbones.

 

“Steve…” Tony said.

 

 

Steve smiled, leaning forward and brushing a soft kiss on Tony’s unmasked forehead.

 

“It’s okay, Shellhead,” Steve whispered, his azure eyes boring into Tony’s chocolate ones. “I know.”

 

Steve turns to Red Skull. “I willingly agree to give my life in exchange of the soul stone.”

 

Red Skull smirked. “An admirable demand, Captain, but in vain. You do not meet the conditions.” His cold eyes settled on Tony’s stricken face. “The stone,” he continued, “does not just require a sacrifice of love, but rather a… specific love. The kind that Thanos had for his sacrifice.”

 

“Parental love,” Tony whispers. Tony can tell Steve gets it the exact second Tony does, because he’s there beside Tony in an instant.

 

“No,” Tony whispers. “No.”

 

“Mr Stark?” a voice comes behind him, and Tony had never moved faster, getting to Peter in three quick strides because _Peter, that’s Peter._

He can’t see where he is going, or what he is doing. His vision, blurred from the tears that had involuntarily welling up in his eyes at the mere sight of the brown haired boy, saw only the kid- his kid- frozen in one spot, the Iron Spider suit still glimmering in the orange light of the ruined planet.

 

Tony ran out of his armour in one second, engulfing Peter in a bone crushing hug the next.

 

“Mr Stark?’ came the kid’s muffled voice. “There isn’t a car door here.”

 

Tony laughed, despite himself. “We’re there, kid.”

 

Peter laughed, tightening his arms around Tony and _oh god_ Tony had missed that laugh, knew that he would wreck the whole universe without blinking an eyelid to hear it again.

 

“Stark,” came a horrible, rasping voice, “you know what you have to do.”

 

Tony shoved Peter behind him, his whole body cocooning his kid protectively. He could see Steve move from where he was standing moments ago in the attempt to give the duo some privacy, now standing in front of Peter with an arm out, protectively.

 

“No,” Tony cried out. “No, I won’t do it. Take me, you sick bastard. Do whatever you want with me, but leave him out of it!”

 

“It doesn’t have to be him,” Steve said frantically, “take me, you know you want to take me. Kill me like you wanted to all those years ago, just let them go. It doesn’t have to be him.”

 

“Oh, but it does, Captain,” Red skull said. “Thanos set the rules when he sacrificed his daughter for the stone. Only the sacrifice of a parental love can reverse Thanos’ doing.”

 

“No,” Tony said, his body curling further around Peter, “I won’t do it.”

 

“Mr Stark-” Peter started.

 

“No,” Tony shouted, “stay out of this Underoos, this is adult talk.”

 

“Mr Stark – Tony,” Peter said again, “you have to.”

 

“No, I don’t Pete. I’m Tony Stark, I don’t have to do anything.”

 

“No, you’re Iron Man. You’re a hero. You have to save everyone. You know it is the only way.”

 

“No, I don’t!” Tony cried out, his uneven breaths echoing. “I have to save you. I don’t _care_ about anyone else, Peter. I am doing all of this for you!”

 

“Then do this for me, too,” Peter said calmly. “Let me die a hero.”

 

“Peter… please, kid. I will do anything for you. I’ll take you to see Hamilton, just like you wanted. I’ll even take your scary girlfriend even if she spends the entire time grilling me about my ethics. Please.”

 

Peter said nothing, just pulled Tony into a hug, his face buried into the crook of Tony’s shoulder. “Tell May I love her for me, please?”

 

“You can tell her yourself, kid,” Tony said, his hands grasping onto Peter as he pulled away.

 

Peter walked over to the edge of the cliff, ignoring Tony’s frantic cries and Steve’s incessant pleading. He turned one last time, smiling at Tony as tears rolled down his rosy cheeks.

 

“Thank you, Tony, for being the best mentor I could have asked for. For not just believing in Spiderman, but the Peter Parker under the suit too. I love you, dad.”

 

With those parting words, Peter Parker flung himself off a cliff, his body falling into a pit of bright stars.

 

Tony collapsed on the floor, his fall softened only by Steve’s big arms already outstretched to catch him.

 

His hands uncurled around a glowing orange stone.

 

“He was a hero, Tony,” Steve whispered, his face illuminated by the light of a thousand, merciless stars. “He died to save half the universe.”

 

_He may have saved half the universe,_ Tony thought, _but he took all of mine._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry... but now that I've killed Peter AND Steve for the soul stone at some point, I'm done. I think. Maybe. 
> 
> scream at me on Tumblr: starsinourinfinities


End file.
